Thank you for this! We had a good 12 days at school until my teenager had a major meltdown for which she was suspended, and it feels like we are back at square one. Just met with school admins and counselors to revise her plan once again.
Have the hardest time calibrating my expectations. Anything, any minor objective, however expressed is as welcome as a live hand grenade. I'm happy he's in school. That in itself seems, on some days, like a victory. Maybe, I think, there isn't a victory. But I dislike the words therapists suggest. Objectives. Autonomy. I'm resolved to him staying at home for good. People outside of this say I'm insane. And sometimes I wonder.
I don't think you're insane, but I do remember having thoughts like that myself at times! I think it's more a case of adapting to the needs of your child... and appreciating that our children don't necessarily stick to the same timescales as some of their peers. There's no rush though!
I've become a connaisseur of temporal adverbs. I'm never going to be wise enough to discern courses of action in the moment. We're at the point now where a typical kid begins to sabotage himself (thirteen years old). Ever come through a moment when any suggestion is rejected because it issues from you? I think back to shitty parents of friends, of their silences that, back in the day, were read as indifference. I think there's a point beyond which speaking is a mistake.
Thank you, this is a great write! Here in the USA, it’s hard to even find a provider who knows about PDA and the assumption is that no teachers or administrators have even heard of it - I’m a teacher & it’s definitely not something talked about in any professional sense. Constantly struggling with where is the best placement for my son.
This is so timely, Steph. Thanks for posting about school and PDA - we are struggling! I can't wait to dive into the resources you've shared :)
Thank you for this! We had a good 12 days at school until my teenager had a major meltdown for which she was suspended, and it feels like we are back at square one. Just met with school admins and counselors to revise her plan once again.
I hope they can start to really see the individual - and those 12 good days should be acknowleged and recognised for sure!
Have the hardest time calibrating my expectations. Anything, any minor objective, however expressed is as welcome as a live hand grenade. I'm happy he's in school. That in itself seems, on some days, like a victory. Maybe, I think, there isn't a victory. But I dislike the words therapists suggest. Objectives. Autonomy. I'm resolved to him staying at home for good. People outside of this say I'm insane. And sometimes I wonder.
I don't think you're insane, but I do remember having thoughts like that myself at times! I think it's more a case of adapting to the needs of your child... and appreciating that our children don't necessarily stick to the same timescales as some of their peers. There's no rush though!
I've become a connaisseur of temporal adverbs. I'm never going to be wise enough to discern courses of action in the moment. We're at the point now where a typical kid begins to sabotage himself (thirteen years old). Ever come through a moment when any suggestion is rejected because it issues from you? I think back to shitty parents of friends, of their silences that, back in the day, were read as indifference. I think there's a point beyond which speaking is a mistake.
I hear you and have the same situation. It is very hard, probably the hardest thing I have ever done.
Thank you, this is a great write! Here in the USA, it’s hard to even find a provider who knows about PDA and the assumption is that no teachers or administrators have even heard of it - I’m a teacher & it’s definitely not something talked about in any professional sense. Constantly struggling with where is the best placement for my son.
Understanding really is key to being able to help... that's why I keep writing about it, in the hope people start to listen....