Keep on Keepin' on, do your best you can do no more, but always remember how many people you have helped so far. Ignore the nay-sayers, they are probably the same people who believe The Trump will save the world.
I work as a counsellor for young people, and my focus isn’t on labels or diagnoses but on how a child regulates and when and why they may struggle with dysregulation. For some children, self-regulation isn’t yet possible, so parents and teachers play a vital role in co-regulation. With the right support, this can sometimes lead to greater self-regulation over time.
The dominant models in medicine and education often rely on diagnostic categories, which can be useful for some but may also lead to a focus on management and control rather than understanding. My approach is different. I aim to help young people understand how their unique nervous system responds to the world and support parents and carers in responding appropriately. Rather than focusing on labels, I prioritise working with the child’s lived experience and needs.
My PDAer son is 21 now - He still barely leaves the house, it keeps him regulated, he has had driving lessons and liked them, but they failed him and its effected him, although he's trying again in March. Mainstream school damaged him - The special needs school undermined him, then he was cut loose during the convid scam! He is ok when there is no outside stress - but when demands start coming - he can become a demon when dysregulated. Anyway - We are trying to get him UC because we need the extra money just to eat - The job centre regard his PDA as a health condition, and he needs a sick note for it - this triggered me today because it bought back the trauma from previous battles with the system - they have requested he keeps in touch with the doctor - I asked why? There is not anything a doctor can do other than medicating him - and he is not doing that! They look at you as if you're being belligerent if they're not medicated up to their eyeballs - it's disgusting - they have said he needs to contact anxiety org - He really does not want to and finds it impossible to speak on the phone, let alone go and talk to anyone - I know that he should make supportive connections because I won't always be around for him - this is something I am desperately scared of. The system has let him down so badly, and traumatised me - I can't believe I'm about to get involved in any of it again - its already triggered my already unstable mental health - I feel so bad for him and worry endlessly about how he will cope in the future - God bless you and your family x
Listen to your intuition and do what’s right for you and your family. You were the very first person I came across giving practical information about how to live with a PDAer in the family & it was so helpful. But you can leave all that information up there for rope to find & view in future even if you feel it’s time for you to move on.
Thank you, that's helped me focus on the fact that it doesn't have to be all or nothing! I'll just do what I can, when I can! Lovely to hear it's helped :)
I find social media overwhelming and often too short to have much impact beyond awareness. Perhaps groups to gather people to a live discussion? That might just be my preference, though. I like talking to people and shaping the discussion to benefit the person I am talking to.
Keep on Keepin' on, do your best you can do no more, but always remember how many people you have helped so far. Ignore the nay-sayers, they are probably the same people who believe The Trump will save the world.
I work as a counsellor for young people, and my focus isn’t on labels or diagnoses but on how a child regulates and when and why they may struggle with dysregulation. For some children, self-regulation isn’t yet possible, so parents and teachers play a vital role in co-regulation. With the right support, this can sometimes lead to greater self-regulation over time.
The dominant models in medicine and education often rely on diagnostic categories, which can be useful for some but may also lead to a focus on management and control rather than understanding. My approach is different. I aim to help young people understand how their unique nervous system responds to the world and support parents and carers in responding appropriately. Rather than focusing on labels, I prioritise working with the child’s lived experience and needs.
Sounds really interesting, thanks for sharing!
My PDAer son is 21 now - He still barely leaves the house, it keeps him regulated, he has had driving lessons and liked them, but they failed him and its effected him, although he's trying again in March. Mainstream school damaged him - The special needs school undermined him, then he was cut loose during the convid scam! He is ok when there is no outside stress - but when demands start coming - he can become a demon when dysregulated. Anyway - We are trying to get him UC because we need the extra money just to eat - The job centre regard his PDA as a health condition, and he needs a sick note for it - this triggered me today because it bought back the trauma from previous battles with the system - they have requested he keeps in touch with the doctor - I asked why? There is not anything a doctor can do other than medicating him - and he is not doing that! They look at you as if you're being belligerent if they're not medicated up to their eyeballs - it's disgusting - they have said he needs to contact anxiety org - He really does not want to and finds it impossible to speak on the phone, let alone go and talk to anyone - I know that he should make supportive connections because I won't always be around for him - this is something I am desperately scared of. The system has let him down so badly, and traumatised me - I can't believe I'm about to get involved in any of it again - its already triggered my already unstable mental health - I feel so bad for him and worry endlessly about how he will cope in the future - God bless you and your family x
I totally hear you about the system and the trauma being triggered. It's so tough. I'm looking forward to seeing the research published by Luke Clements this year: https://www.lukeclements.co.uk/systems-generated-trauma-survey/
Listen to your intuition and do what’s right for you and your family. You were the very first person I came across giving practical information about how to live with a PDAer in the family & it was so helpful. But you can leave all that information up there for rope to find & view in future even if you feel it’s time for you to move on.
Thank you, that's helped me focus on the fact that it doesn't have to be all or nothing! I'll just do what I can, when I can! Lovely to hear it's helped :)
Glad it was helpful - and that was folks not rope! 🤪 Don’t know where that came from 😂
rope worked too though - for me to pull myself back up on, lol!
I find social media overwhelming and often too short to have much impact beyond awareness. Perhaps groups to gather people to a live discussion? That might just be my preference, though. I like talking to people and shaping the discussion to benefit the person I am talking to.
Oooh that is a good idea. I'll give it some more thought as to how to put into practice! Thank you.