This week I’m feeling the pressure to write something extra special, after an influx of new readers (welcome!). I’ve never considered myself to be an amazing writer; I wasn’t one of those people who always wanted to write a book. So it feels slightly surreal that in January, when our book is finally published, I will be able to say I’m an author. But then maybe I already can, thanks to my last 14 years of blogging?!
For those who are new around here I thought I’d share the photo that has taken pride of place on my blog for all those years. Snapped in a happy moment when the girls were around 8 and 6; they are now 18 and 16 and not fans of having their photos taken (you may also notice my hair is slightly different these days!). Actually that’s an understatement - it’s extremely rare that I’m allowed to take photos of our eldest and our youngest won’t let me take any photos of her face at all now. But they have agreed to me carrying on using this one, thankfully!
S.E.N.D Reform England
Last week there were protests all around the country to highlight the issues for SEND children within the education system. As those of you who have read my Not Fine In School series will know, this is a topic close to my heart. Our daughter has missed out on so much education because her needs were not being met; she has been failed by the system.
My thanks go to all the parents who were involved in organising the events, and all those who were able to show up on the day and shout loudly, asking Government to make changes. I was sad not to be able to attend our local one (but as a consolation I did get to paddle in the sea somewhere warmer than here!).
I know there are so many other parents who would have liked to have been there but work, other commitments or having to be at home with their children would have prevented them attending too. Always grateful for those who can be there - please go and show the SEND Reform team some support on social media - Facebook, Instagram or TikTok!
Book Reviews
It’s been a crazy busy couple of weeks here so I haven’t had chance to write a new book review for the blog but I can promise you there are lots of reviews on their way soon! Including The Panda on PDA, The Autistic Experience, I see things in my own colour, ADHD An A-Z, A Different Way to Learn and a particularly great one on the subject of ARFID. Watch this space! In the meantime, tap on the image below for my post that gives a short summary of all the PDA books I’ve found helpful:
Highly recommended
Dr Naomi Fisher - a clinical psychologist and author writing about self-directed education, trauma, and autism. Naomi publishes on Substack and at www.naomifisher.co.uk/blog, and runs several live webinars and courses each month on Eventbrite.
Eliza Fricker – a very talented illustrator and author of Can’t Not Won’t, The Family Experience of PDA and upcoming third book Thumbsucker. Eliza manages to capture the experiences of so many families in her work and also presents the webinars alongside Dr Naomi Fisher. Her blog can be found at
Change and PDA
A phrase popped into my head while I was helping to run a course about autism recently: “Predictability versus novelty”. This came up in the context of some children finding school difficult and parents wondering whether they would be better enrolled at a different school.
When our daughter was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 2 we attended a few courses or sessions to learn more about autism. One point that was often made was that autistic children like routine and predictability. I would turn this over in my mind often; I came to the conclusion that our girl liked routine but only if she was the one to decide what that routine was. She didn’t cope well with the demands of routines set by other people. At the same time, she also seemed to thrive on novelty and spontaneity - something not quite so easy for us to achieve in terms of life now she is a teenager perhaps, but this definitely applied when she was younger. I think this is one of the characteristics that seemed to (in part, at least) define PDA for me all those years ago - a difference to what I was hearing worked well for most other autistic children. Change is OK for our PDAer as long as it is led by her or we have prepared her very well for it (we were nervous about moving house a few years ago but she seemed to get through that fairly calmly in the end!). Does anyone else relate to this in terms of change and PDA? Drop me a line/reply to let me know if so!
Question Time
This week I am wondering if landing in your inbox every week is too much…. I’d hate to think it makes you feel like saying goodbye! So please let me know how often you’d like to hear from me with a newsletter like this? My aim is to share any helpful info I can and I’m always happy to take suggestions on board.
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"[O]ur girl liked routine but only if she was the one to decide what that routine was...she also seemed to thrive on novelty and spontaneity."
100% dead-on in my experience. This is exactly as, um, "interesting" to navigate as an adult as you might imagine, ha!